Mark: Have you done your visa application?
Mark: Have you had your visa photos taken?
Mark: Have you got the reference number for your visa?
Mark: What have you been doing?
Me: I don’t know.
I’ve been rather quiet on the blog. This has been for a number of reasons. Some are technical (I’ve moved to a new web host…blah blah yawn) but also, we’ve slowed our travelling right down.
For the past 3 months I’ve been in countries I’m familiar with (Australia and New Zealand) as well as staying with family. I don’t quite feel I’m ‘travelling’; even though I am. It’s been an odd feeling. Sort of familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time.
Oh yeah….and this has been happening. A lot.
At the moment, we have the incredible good fortune to be staying in a house that belongs to a member of my extended family. It’s a gorgeous place. It’s in a lovely community. It’s a train ride from the city of Wellington, New Zealand, yet right by the sea. There are amazing sunsets and, allegedly, equally stunning sunrises. Every day I can’t believe our good fortune. It’s inspirational. If I was going to be productive, surely it would happen here. Wouldn’t it? Surely. Surely? I have all the time in the world.
Yet the truth is, when the whole day is laid bare in front of me – day after day after day after day – I can get demotivated and slip into a stupor of idleness. Instead of completing the tasks I need to (and curiously, I actually want to do), I shuffle around in my pyjamas thinking and imagining all the things I could be doing. Usually whilst staring out the window.
When we were moving from country to country or on an organised trip, our days were filled with new sights, sounds, modes of transport, people, and of course wonderful new food to try!
Just as our travelling has slowed significantly, so too has my productivity. Left to my own devices, it turns out some days my default position is to navel-gaze.
In my defence, in between losing games of Gin Rummy and staring out the window, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I have some big decisions ahead of me.
I always knew the travel element of my ‘year out’ was just a vehicle for me to draw a line under the life I had in the UK, and get me to a position where I could carve out a new life. This could be back in the UK, or elsewhere.
The company I worked at have held a position open for me until the end of June. I have 2 months to decide whether I can make a new life for myself or accept that perhaps, just maybe….my ‘life’ back home wasn’t the issue, the issue was me. I needed to change. After all, it’s the same moon wherever you go.
So, I’m off to do more thinking, and planning. Yes, there’s a high chance I’ll be in my pyjamas still, but for the moment the Gin Rummy can wait. Life’s big decisions can, and should, take time to think through.